Local Crime Watch part "I've lost count".

Courtesy of some of the Bay Area's finest and the San Jose Mercury News, I give you your most recent dose of the police blotter. 
This was published yesterday. I include the date from the top of the posting just as a reminder you, dearest reader, of when this was reported.

Now this poor gentleman certainly had a rough birthday. Maybe five years of AARP was ENOUGH?

Also, what, exactly, constitutes "Malicious mischief" and why is the first part of said alliteration capitalized? Do we have a police officer-by-day-poet-by-night on our hands?

And our young friend. Bed time is frustrating but so is being tired and cranky when we wake up. Family knows best and just go to bed when they tell you to. Or at least pretend to and then secretly read Judy Blume {or what ever that demographic reads these days?} with a penlight under the covers.
The hedge lining seems dull in comparison to teenage curfew angst.
Folks, I have some interesting things in the works. Kind of. Maybe only to me. Anyway, happy middle of the week to y'all...I must confess that summer, I believe, is officially about to leave us. It's supposed to dip down into the 60s later this week. Sigh.
xoxo, natty ♥

Good day.

Again, a not so inspiring post for y'all...maybe. It depends on how easy to impress you are; HA! We puttered around today and got some errands done {maybe a new dog Halloween contest...just maybe}. We had a belated birthday dinner with my aunt. I actually took a picture of us two but it's on my phone which is concurrently updating it's new software so I can't do anything with it like upload it's pictures onto photobucket. Oh well...maybe tomorrow.
I also stumbled upon what I think to be the best police blotter of all time until now.
Behold.

Why does it bother that lady if a man is enjoying chair sitting on a street corner? There is no need to begrudge him that simple please, thus I opine. Also, why must his portliness be mentioned? It seems to hold no bearing on the offense and merely paints an unnecessarily unattractive portrait of an innocent man.
Aaaaaaand the bajillion dollar question; why geese? Is there a "reporting party" out there in San Jose who is extremely paranoid and concerned for our local geese population? Maybe people actually want to just feed said birds and not tempt them into their vans for illicit activities. And why is it the first assumption, at 11:18 PM, that geese-luring is, in actuality, what's going on? 
Anyway, Good Beginning of the work week to You! May it be a Magnificent One!
xoxo, natty ♥